Sunday, December 26, 2010


Kenapa tidak boleh let go? Kenapa?

One minute you're telling me you can't forget, can't go by not seeing.
Another minute you're telling me how fucked up everything is, and its all nothing already.

But open your eyes and see. Listen to yourself. What are you doing?

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

What good does it do being close when there's nothing. Tambah sakit seja, adalah.

Nobody's able to move on if nobody takes the first move to move on.

I WAS bad, I WAS mean for doing what I did. I never doubted that fact. NEVER.
What do I have to do to make you understand that I need to get away for you to recover. Being near to me won't do any good for either one of us.

I'm sorry la for doing it. I can't turn back time to undo my mistakes.
You can ask me all you want about why I did it, why must I move. I have no answer for you anymore. I've told you what I needed to tell you.

On days you go all angry, on some days you come to your senses. Clearly, so very clearly, I should be apart from you so that you'd be able to forget semuanya. Tapi you tidak mau. Macam mana?

Your friend pun suruh you go, my friend pun suruh I go.

I don't want to stay.
I don't want to.
I want to leave.

I do not feel easy and good staying around the same place as you. I don't feel good. I don't feel comfortable anymore. Why can't you see that.

Let me go.
Let me go.

Kenapa la I lemah. Kenapa la I stubborn sangat. F.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Make me happy.

A tub of Cadbury Caramello ice cream.
The comforts of my home in Tg Aru.
The breeze of the beach in the evening.
Jojo sitting/sleeping quietly - NOT on my book, NOT biting.
December 13th.
Being around friends.
Swing swing swing.
Music, singing, and dancing.
Bimbo sleeping on my bed while I do my thing.
The piano.
A stroll around the park.
Exams over.
Kota Kinabalu.
A good good good cry.
Some understanding.
No hating.
No anger.
A big hearty laugh till sakit perut.
Singing and dancing to Beyonce's Sweet Dreams.
Kite flying, frisbee throwing.

I'm alright, but I really think I could be better.
I can't wait to go home.

Thursday, December 2, 2010



Exam next week (woohoo).

Trouble concentrating, trouble understanding, trouble trying to find the will to open the book and start reading. When will I ever learn?

Bila la mau let me be who I wanna be, let me do what I wanna do?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Trying to understand

Everything happens for a reason.

I'm human. I make mistakes. I'm allowed to make mistakes, cause I am only human. At least I realise.



There are two sides to every story. Cuba dengar dua dua side dulu. Baru judge.

I do salah ada sebab dia. Maybe the way I do/handle it is wrong. Tapi like I said la kan, I'm only human. I don't possess super powers, I am not strong, I am in fact sangat weak. The only thing I can do is try to put myself in other people's shoes. Try to understand how and what they feel. Kalau boleh, I want to do whatever that makes semua happy. Tapi masalah dia tidak boleh. Whatever I wanna try to do, nobody wins. I lagi la don't win.

I kadang-kadang mau juga think for myself. Mau juga do things for ME. Bukan mau selalu, kadang-kadang only. Once twice. Tidak la sampai everyday. I'm not selfish all the time.

Kalau I boleh snap my fingers make it all better kan bagus.

Kalau I boleh jadi macam Hermione and do the 'Obliviate' spell kan bagus.

Yes. I admit. I admit 1000 percent yang I buat salah. I said sorry. Let's all move on la kan. It can't be fixed anyway. No matter how everyone tries, it can't be fixed. The hole is too big to be patched.

I can only try to make things better. But I cannot do it alone. Cannot. Cannot. Cannot.

I sendiri don't understand myself. 

Macam mana la tu?

What's in my heart Dia seja tau. 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Deaf and Blind

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt within the heart.

- Helen Keller

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

if only.

if only i could have it my way.
if only snapping my fingers could solve everything.
if only.
if only.
if only.

    Saturday, September 25, 2010

    Ahh, salmon skin roll

    From favourite episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S: The One With the Unagi

    Ada lagu favourite baru sekarang. Sebab lyrics dia bikin aww.

    Oh you know, you know, you know
    I'd never ask you to change
    If perfects what you're searching for
    Then just stay the same
    So don't even bother asking if you look okay
    'Cause you know I'll say

    When I see your face
    There's not a thing that I would change
    'Cause you're amazing
    Just the way you are
    And when you smile
    The whole world stops and stares for a while
    'Cause girl you're amazing
    Just the way you are 

    Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

    You don't think it's aww? Kay fine. Tia apa.

    Oh and ta-da! LOVE. Kalau boleh mau beli satu kedai. Tapi, I'm not that tamak. I think? Hahaha. Tunggu la, nanti saya beli tu laptop punya apa tu... sleeve?

    Yes, Hana begini la, anything colourful/berbunga/berbutterfly/cantik/cute I instantly tertarik. Macam budak kecil.

    My lecturer calls my pencil case yang before this pretty one "The Doraemon Pencil Case" sebab semua benda ada dalam! Well almost everything. But this new one got a lot of space! Still can fit more pens, even though currently my pens banyak gila mau mati.


    So kunun banyak masa la lagi mau buat assignment? TIDAK! Damn. Keh, mari kita sama-sama kira aa berapa banyak assignments.

    Kira jap.

    Ada lah, around sepuluh? Very good, Naz, very good.

    Hari ni punya post no motive. Saja only, since ada internet connection, not sleepy (NOT sleepy... :/), and mau show off pencil case baru. Hehe.

    Oh oh! Jojo update: She macam besar. Like growing so quickly... Tadi dia playing with her bulu-bulu toy with me. Then she was jumping la, pastu jump jump tiba-tiba a loud "DEBUK!". She jatuh and terhempas her badan on the carpet. Kesian! I think she was in pain kejap, sebab dia diam pastu macam lemah. SEKEJAP only la, around 4-5 minutes. Sekarang hyper balik pusing2 around the chair lompating on Lexie the Laptop and gigiting whatever that is gigitable. Bila kau mau besar Jojo. Berak pun salah aim.

    I'm pretty pleased with the outcome of my 3rd roll of film:

    My hair long already kan?

    Okay la, tidur lah. I love you and miss all of y'all! :(

    P/S: Pinjam Katy Perry Cotton Candy Yummy Yummy please! Get well soon okay Ally!

    Sunday, September 19, 2010

    Lift Me Up

    Ini dia, Kucing terclingy di dunia...

    Ini lepas meow meow meow. Dia meow saaaaaaaaaampai penat and tertidur macam tu lah.

    So I again mau tambah, Jojo is:

    1. A light sleeper. You move a bit or make the slightest noise she'll be awake.
    2. Cannot sleep without human touch. CANNOT. I tried moving my hand/foot/paha/arm away, she woke up! Instantly.
    3. Misbehaves when I'm alone at home with her.
    4. Possibly gay.
    5. Purrs really loud. 
    6. Gete! Sangat. Ee Jojo siapa ajar you jadi gete.

    Bila kau mau besar Jojo bilaaa?!

    Bee-Tee-Double you, Christina's Lift Me Up is a very nice song. I like. You like or not? Try you listen first. Try you try...

    Hari tu Raya kan.

    Mummy Nenek, Me , Kakak at Kg Air, Kudat
    "Aduh pening saya punya kepala," Si Izz bilang
    Naj, Rianah, Me, Jasmine at Uncle Amir's, Keningau
    Rianah, Kakak Lily, Me at err Rumah Aunty Tayung yang WHOAA!
    All in the Family! :)
    Oma and Little Syabil. Look! He's smiling :D

    My long lost twin muah! :* Manada sama bah.

    I ran out of ideas. Wait for me! Oh! Yes, I was trying to look for it in French and I did so yay! It's just the sweetest thing, really. Even manis-er in French.
    Car vois-tu, chaque jour, je t'aime davantage,
    Aujourd'hui plus qu'hier et bien moins que demain
    Nanti I belajar pronounce. Then I say to you. Okay?

    Okay bye buat kerja! HUARGH!

    Big big big big heavy heart to you you you you for reading :) next time read again.

    Wednesday, September 15, 2010


    Okay I'm not in a very happy state.
    I want to go home to kelupis and rendang and pineapple tarts and honey joys.
    I want to go home to Bimbo/Jojo.
    I want to go home to my bed and sleep.
    I feel like crying. I think that'll make me feel better.
    Emosi betul oh ish.
    Really, I rasa in my badan now rasa sangat depressed.
    Like I could really use a tub of Cadbury Caramello Ice Cream.
    Yesterday okay seja pun.
    Not a very good time for PMS, since I had to leave home.
    See, I'm being weird, I don't blog like this.

    I miss you banyak banyak. Cepat lah cepat. My best source of laughter faster come! :(

    Wednesday, September 8, 2010


    What would I do without you.


    Today singing Balik Kampung. But in a very sad and nervous tone.

    Okay my fault? Yes my fault. I'm sorry :(

    God giving me very big dugaan before Eid. Okay not la big but big la... hmm.

    Salam Syawal everyone!

    Tuesday, September 7, 2010

    Gaps Between Classes


    Buat in numbering la senang.

    1. I AM SORRY for poking your eye. SORRY! Like really I tia sengaja. But I had a good laugh. Not because I poke your eye la but because it happened the way it did. Adui. Funny. Okay.
    2. I shall be rajin and bring my laptop to class every Tuesday
    3. Monday morning class is dry.
    4. I will stand up for what is right. Doraemon doesn't have ears because it was bitten by rats.
    5. I'm going back to KK tomorrow! Balik kampung oh oh oh balik kampung!
    6. I want to make my pumpkin cake, my honeyjoys, choco chip cookies, err melting moments? Yummm.
    7. I miss Izz.
    8. I wonder what Jojo is doing now. Sorry I kurung you meowmeow.
    9. There is such thing as the Angau Bercinta Club. Mau join?
    10. Assignments sudah banyak, tapi lama lagi baru send. I have a month.
    11. I want to go to the beach. No no, island.
    12. Lepas ni class public speaking. Malas. :|
    13. Okay time to go to class!

    Monday, September 6, 2010

    Hi! My name is Jojo...

    Thanks Ally for the photo. And Jojo.

    Jojo Gaga the cat. Itu full name dia by the way. Jojo Gaga. Berhabis cakap nama dia tia ngam Jojo. Ngam ba. Cute kan Jojo! Ini baru la eyeliner kucing.

    Jojo goes crazy when I put her in her rumah (cage). She knows where to pee n poop (clever Jojo). She suka lari lari then terlicin. If Jojo could run with two feet she would, cause when she runs her front legs macam... terangkat angkat (silly Jojo). She attacks anything that moves. She chases her tail (catdog, catdo-og). she climbs up your body and starts licking your face (Jojo the dog?). She's traumatized if left alone (sorry Jojo I had to leave you in the car while I go makan). She needs human touch to go to sleep. 

    Bimbo I still love you.

    Jojo's going to pet hotel for Raya. Minta pujiiii. Haha.

    Sorry SuperGirl, I've been neglecting you for awhile.

    Tuesday, August 3, 2010

    You are Twenty-One!


    (I'm sorry I couldn't find a nicer Green!)

    I'll never forget:

    1. The day you fell down on the ground just to get mee hoon from me! Ketawa me satu orang kalau ingat balik. Hahaha!
    2. The first time I went shopping with you and you laughed at all my choices! How dare you!
    3. The day we had accident on the way to 1Utama. Tulah, gatal mau jalan-jalan during exam.
    4. The time you were staring at Lisa and Rachel.
    5. That your favourite colour is Green!
    6. That you HATE tuna. Just like Bimbo.
    7. Your senyum biut! Muahaha!
    8. That you like to say "That's what you call loooooooove, Hana"
    9. That you're a great friend (and more)
    10. Your BIG LOUD HAPPY FULL laugh. Kalau dengar seja "Ally la tu".
    11. July 19th!
    12. The Eyemo incident hahaha!
    13. The way you can suddenly terdiam.
    14. That time that you apologized for being noisy, but couldn't stop explaining yourself.
    15. The way you boleh tukar-tukar style bercakap - depending who you're with.
    16. Your last birthday celebration last year.
    17. When I was walking to the car exactly a year ago and you say my perut buncit!
    18. You like eating at Cozy Corner.
    19. That you think berbuka puasa di Chili's is kafir. Fine, you pick a place!
    20. How you're scared to drive.
    21. Your birthday is on August the third!
    Zaman Batu. Your hair and mine still short!

    You do not look fat!

    Though you've to spend your birthday going to class, berkawad kaki, sakit badan, sakit kaki... I hope you have a greeaaatt day nonetheless.

    May He shower you with good health, wealth, joy, happiness, success, laughter, happy tears, confidence, love (and plenty of it), more imaginations, more power, fun, more trips to Penang, a trip to KK (or TRIPS to KK), and plenty of sunshine and smiles.

    You'll grow to be who you want to be, and you'll be the best. Trust me!

    Here's to you.
    Happy 21st Birthday Ally!
    I love you!

    Hana yang sexy and hot :D

    Sunday, August 1, 2010


    Cammie, i curi-ed from Facebook okee? hehe.

    When's our next dancing session? Same place same time this coming week?

    "Never felt happier to say hi." :)

    Saturday, July 31, 2010

    I'm Cute?! Aww thanks!

    Ba ya la, muntah la kalau you rasa have to :P

    ::Apa nama blog kamu dan kenapa letak nama tu?
    SuperGirl! Sebab. "I'm SuperGirl, and I'm here to save the world, and I wanna know, who's gonna save me!" Okay la, that song inspired me (cheh mau juga inspired) to name it SuperGirl. I'm a girl, and I'm super. Woohoo! Hehe.
    ::Bila blog anda mula beroperasi?
    Do you really expect me to find out? Haha. Erm late 2008 I think. Well before this I was at Xanga

    ::Siapa follower pertama anda?
    Oh can check ka? Haha.
    ::Ucapan kepada pemberi award
    Dear Magnut, Thank you! Hehe. With love, Hanyut. Hahaha. Thanks Mag! Bila lagi kita mau pigi makan malam yang service dia bagus sikit?
    ::Tag 9 orang yang anda rasa patut dapat award ni
    To ALL bloggers cause people who blog all are cute people. Mmkay. Okay. Malas ba mau tag orang sebenarnya, so if you think YOUR blog is CUTE? Then... nah! *gives you award*



    Hari tu kan, the ladies of the house kena suruh "clean up the attic". Dengan malasnya woke up early and went upstairs. I have to say, it was quite enjoyable. Had boxes and boxes of old stuff. I found:

    1. Plenty of buku latihan, which...byk homework tia kasi siap! Haha. Biasa lah, malas.
    2. Buku nota matematik si WLL! Yai maths pun mau buku nota. Oh ini buku nota selalu updated aa. Si WLL bising ba nanti
    3. Kertas-kertas exam! All my birthdays always during exams. And I saw my markah-markah. Dui dogo.
    4. My English essay for exam entitled "She Cried at Number Five", which I must put it up one day.
    5. Untouched revision books. Heh. Like clean berabis. Tullis nama pun tiada.
    And a "comic book" which I made in the year 1999. I was what, 10? Had very ugly handwriting and my drawing macam bodoh only (wait till you see Grandma). But punya la I ketawa. It's pretty embarrassing but what the hell. I thought I'd make someone laugh juga. 

    Comic Book.
    Little red black oops I meant red riding hood

    Grandpa: Once upon a time, there was a girl called Little Yellow Riding Hood
    Girl: No! Red Riding Hood

    okay bidanya lukisan macam mau mati only

    Grandpa: Oh yes; of course, Red Riding Hood. Well, one day her mother called and said "Little Green Riding Hood--"
    Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH): RED!
    *cancel cancel cancel*

    Mother: Sorry! Red. Now my child, go to Aunt Mary and take her these potatoes.
    LRRH: NO! It doesn't go like that. Go to Grandma and take her these cakes!
    Grandpa: All right. So the little girl went off and she met a girraffe,

    1. Mother was apparently only wearing panties
    2. The cakes look like sandcastles yang hampir roboh.
    3. I spelled giraffe wrongly! Bahaha!
    4. My girraffe/giraffe looks evil and only has 3 kaki!
    5. AUNT MARY?!

    Girl: What a mess you're making of it! It was a wolf!!
    Grandpa: And the wolf said
    Wolf: What's 6X8?

    1. Garangnya the cucu with the Grandpa
    2. My wolf. WTF.
    3. Funny kan! Haha. Kay. Sorry.

    LRRH: No! No! The wolf asked her where she was going.
    Grandpa: And so he did. And Little Green Riding Hood said--
    Girl: Red! Red! RED! *kembang marah*

    Grandpa: She replied *lukis arrow*
    LRRH: I'm going to buy some tomatoes from the market.
    LRRH: No, She said I'm going to my grandma's house. I'm lost.

    Makin lama makin bida si Red. Buat speech bubble pun alang-alang punya size.

    Grandpa: Of course, and the horse said, --
    LRRH: What horse? It was a wolf!
    Wolf: Take the 75 bus, get out at the main square, turn right and first dorway at the first doorway, you will find three steps...

    Oh kuda, sorry I dunno how to lukis horse.
    And as you can see, ketara malas sudah mau melukis. Wolf punya kaki entah like what.

    LRRH: ?
    Wolf: Leave the steps where they are, but pick up the coin you'll find lying on them, and buy yourself a packet of chewing gum.

    WOLF TIADA HIDUNG! And got bibir? Huh?

    LRRH: Grandpa, you're terrible!
    GRANDMA!!!: But all the same, I wouldn't mind some chewing gum.

    Grandma looks like a zombie, jari tia cukup, WHAT THE FISH are those curly little things on her head, hidung scary, and she looks like she's sewn to her baju.

    So yeah.
    See, kici kici pun pandai merepek sudah. So memang we can ba merepek together if you want.
    Funny ka?
    I thought it was pretty clever of me :p
    Bah... What do you expect kan, I was only 10! Ten! Minta maaf la tulisan and lukisan tu terlalu lah bida. I pun tia sanggup mau tingu! 

    Check out A.D.D's Usher Medley Cover! Probably not the best tapi vocalist punya suara OH MYYY. Jatuh cinta! Dengan suara seja. Muka dia tia clear. Hahaha.

    Happy weekend everyone!

    Thursday, July 15, 2010

    SuperGirl and her Toy Camera

    Rungus/Kadus Handicrafts near bridge walkway at Segama

    Thara and Grace during the mini reunion

    Mummy and her funny face! Heehee! And the very wangi bunga she said to "ambil gambar dari bawah"

    All taken with love using the Golden Half Chelsea Maika edition + Holga 12s colour flash. Heh. Ya, memang kebaruan pun. Jadi, kenapa lah? :)

    Still trying to figure out how dark is too dark for the camera. But anticipating the results is exciting.

    Nah, Ally, you wanted to see pictures kan?

    SuperGirl is happy :]

    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    Don't Mind Me

    Currently listening to: Rihanna - Wait Your Turn

    Mau juga kan put currently listening to. Minta puji betul. Haha!

    Kau tingu ni budak. Orang busy talking on the phone!

    I feel miserable! Macam perempuan pregnant suda cukup nine months tapi baby belum keluar keluar. It's almost that case, 'cept it's my period. I KNOW it's coming. TAPI MANA KAU?! 

    Btw, have you girls noticed how many potential "babies" you've let your pads serap? (okay eww)

    I've "thrown away" 96 eggs. Assuming there aren't any missed periods.

    Okay, why am I talking about this again?


    I'm tired of
    1. Kena suruh-suruh. Is there no such thing as PLEASE anymore?
    2. All the tahi kucing on the driveway. Damn you kucing sebelah.
    3. My late period
    4. Craving for Yogurberry and ice cream oh myyy.
    5. The hujan petang-petang. Cause I want Tanjung Aru's sunset!
    6. Bimbo's minta puji-ing tia mau makan n pilih makanan! BIMBO!! (I still love you)
    7. The ituuuu seja shows on Fox
    8. Cooking! Everyday! (If only they'll accept nasi and telur dadar haha!)
    9. Waiting for August to come!
    10. Being tired. Bleugh.
    I want my own Minion. I'll name it... Steve.

    By far the cutest movie. Hahaha! Because of the Minions.

    Three blind mice! Thara paling ngam, Cammie mabuk, I'm a happy blind mouse

    I love you my Melalak Buddies!

    Okay, till next time!

    You're damn right it's the perfect crime! 

    Sunday, July 4, 2010

    Okay, fine.

    Satu satu team yang I was hoping to succeed selowwwlee saying goodbye. (Did I curse them or something?)

    Four must be Germany's favourite number or something.

    But oh well, now, GERMANY FOR THE WORLD CUP!

    Sorry Messi :(

    Muka yang very cute. Haha! Picture from Topnews.

    Tadi mau blog pasal something. Tapi. Lupa sudah. Plus. It's time for 12-5! ;)

    Sunday, June 27, 2010

    On the twelve-th day of May...

    Okay, if I don't upload orang lain geram. Jadi, nah. :) *picture heavy post*

    Okay so my sayangs fail-surprised me with yum yum cheesecake which said "21st", "<3 u" and ":D vote!!"

    Birthday girl no need to do anything hehehe. Pika pasang lilin for me!

    All pinky with the pinky shirt and my pinky WINNIE THE POOH party hat. 

    "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you" -Pooh :)

    So what were you thinkin' getting me a Winnie the Pooh party hat!

    My Pika :)

    I sayang you both for bringing me my first birthday cake of the day! :D

    And then at night, TADA! Kakak brought back another cake. Yummy... Blueberry cheese cake.

    With Mummy dearest. We matching la Mummy blue-blue ;) Do I look like her?

    The laydehhss of the house!

    And then Abang Shaun balik after I already blow candles :P Oh, my birthday we were busy preparing for Abang Nafiq's wedding so my Auntie was there too! Papa was M.I.A. Haha. No la, in Kudat working.

    Tu ja actually. Hahaha. Happy birthday ME! :D :D :D

    OH and...

    I'm pretty sure y'all have seen these things around di kedai kedai. (Taken at Subang Parade, and there's a reason I'm posting this.) Wait for it...


    HAHAHA! Sama kan! I literally LOL-ed when I saw them like this and told them to sit still to take a picture. Totally made my day. Thara paling ngam, Pika nda buli tahan ketawa! Manada patung tudung ada gigi Pika! They LOLed too okay! I love you both :)

    Okay. So that was my birthday.

    Tonight Germany vs England. I wanna say GO ROONEY! But Germany will kick ass. I think. I dunno.

    Tomorrow? Confession. You say I tia berani? Hmph you tunggu ****!