Saturday, December 17, 2011

Striving For Perfection

People look for perfection.
People dream to achieve perfection.

Even though everyone knows - perfection is rare, little, sometimes non-existent.

But what is perfect?

A sunny day, not a cloud in the big blue sky?
A soft, moist, creamy piece of cake?
Waking up to a rainy morning and being able to go back to sleep?
Having everything go according to plan?

That sunny day may suddenly rain. The soft moist creamy piece of cake may be soft moist and creamy to you but not to another person. That  rainy morning makes it difficult for others who do need to get out. And to get things to go according to your plans happens most of the time only in the movies.

Eh, negativenya?

On a lighter note... "Perfection" does bring different meanings to different people. And, we never seem to want to give up on being 'perfect'.

Perfection - it is something we all wish for at some point of our lives. It's only human. Greatness cannot be achieved without some spunk and self-confidence. You are what you believe. So believe in all that is gooood. *cheerleaders cheering you on*
No one is perfect… that’s why pencils have erasers. -anon

I'm nothing in between, you know you wouldn't want it any other way

Happy holidays! Bye!

Friday, December 16, 2011



Actually, ada ka orang read my blog? Baru mau wonder after so long...

Okay. I had a really good burger for dinner. Come I take you to half an hour ago when I had my burger

Caramelized onions and sauteed mushrooms on a beef patty topped with honey BBQ sauce covered in Cheddar Cheese
(Buh. Padahal tiada apa-apa special pun)

Bah ya la. Memang la tidak special, tapi kan... Sedap oh! Mmm. I was afraid my beef patty wouldn't cook well, I poked the patty so many times it looked kinda not so pretty once it was cooked. Doesn't matter la ba kan, as long as sedap and it was so juicy! Mmm.

Sebenarnya, I have an assignment to complete. Due Saturday. But tonight I just feel like listening to music and sing in celebration of the completion of my first semester at UH. I have a 3-week Christmas break, which I still have 3 assignments to kasi siap, sebelum the next sem. Why? Because all of it will be due on the first week of the new semester.


I have had some sort of bad luck with dips/sauces in the past 2 days.

Scene #1
  I wanted to eat my Doritos with my nacho cheese dip. Tangan saya kecil, lepas tu kan, the bottle pula susaaaah betul mau buka. Okay FINE. I ran it under hot water. Try buka again. Cannot. Lagi, run lagi longer under hot water. Try lagi, nda boleh juga! Okay. Another try running the cap under hot water lagi lama sikit. Sekali twist the cap, SPLAT! on my nose, my face, a little on my toes, blotches on the carpet, one loooong streak on the sink, on the side of my cupboard and on my laundry. The bottle cracked and chipped a little bit (I don't know where the chipped part went). My room smelled like cheese dip.

Scene #2
  I wanted to eat my Doritos with my BBQ sauce. I dunno lah why I so pandai, I took a piece of the Dorito chip and attempted to picit out some BBQ sauce on to that piece. Sekali I picit! Banyak keluar! And it ended up on my toe and chair.

Maybe it isn't the dip/sauce. Maybe... it's the Doritos.

Waiting and waiting in vain
Before I go, nah ini dia lagu sexy. Ada orang mau dedicate to me? Ahem!

Happy weekend! Bye!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Lagi setengah tahun baru I can feast like nobody's business on:

Nasi lemak with ayam merah mmmmm.
Roti planta without gula
Carl's Jr
Little Italy
Bella Italia
Ngiu Chap
Something that starts with M
Tutti Frutti
La Risata
Steamboat Ikano tu
Ikea Meatballs
Daim Cake
Macaroni & Cheese Secret Recipe
Tom Yam Kung Secret Recipe
Laksa di belakang Baiduri!
Cendol di belakang Baiduri!
Sotong goreng
Ebi Tempura
Ayam panggang Tg. Aru
Kangkung belacan Cozy Corner
Sweet Sour Kerapu Cozy Corner
Broccoli in oyster sauce Cozy Corner
Udang something something Cozy Corner
Delicious mmmmm
DIM SUM mmm chicken feeeet bbq paaauuu siew maaaai
Bagan Lalang
Any sort of seafood
SOFT SHELL CRAB with wasabi mayo at FullHouse
Crispy Sisters Popiah
Beard Papa's
Banana fritters Madam Kwan
Hot & Roll
Rojak di Lintas homai sedapppp
Onion Rings
Seafood platter NYNY
Nasi Ayam
Thai Thai

Okay... umm. Lapar. Bye!

Take a Breather

Stop. Step back.

Close your eyes, take a deeeeep breath.

Now exhale.

Okay. Picking yourself up all by your lonesome isn't really an easy thing to do. Bah, biasalah, human kan?

Sometimes, we sendiri yang put ourselves in that position, we sendiri yang push ourselves to the ground. Mana dengan peer pressure lah, pressure from parents lah, images shown in the media lah, stresses from work and life lah. Then after sudah jatuh gugur tersungkur dengan sendirinya, we begin to ask ourselves, "Why the hell did I do that to myself?"

Yes, we just can't help it kadang-kadang. But we have control over our hearts and minds, don't we? Solution dia satu seja, keep a reminder, a post-it, a mental image that says: Don't do it to yourself. And really try to resist the urge.

Epp! Don't do it to yourself. Gitu. You know?

I should know.

Things to embrace
1. The way you think
2. Your unique features
3. Your differences from others
4. The weird sense of self-love
5. The wonder of complexity and in-ordinary-ness that is Y-O-U. *smiles with gigi tidak lurus tapi masih lawa juga bah dari teda gigi nah mana satu kau mau?*

Take a breather, think happy thoughts, go to your happy place, and laugh at yourself once in a while. It may work.

Okay lah. Lapar ni. Happy positivity! Bye!

Feel the rain on your skin, no one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in.


Thursday, December 8, 2011

Feel good

Sometimes, you just got to pick yourself up.

I want to pick myself up, so here's a (vain) list of 22 things why I am special. Twenty two cause well. You know. I'm 22 years old.

So if like. You're not into me puji-ing myself  or reading a long (but really interesting) post you can skip it :p

#1 I can eat like nobody's business, and its hard for me to gain weight. :] But I need to gain weight. Because I am unfortunately underweight. So sometimes it's difficult you know, when I eat and it does show, it shows in my face. Not like...go to places where I want it to go. But then again, I am glad I can eat and eat and eat and eat! I <3 to eat.

#2 I am small. Sure I find it hard to cari baju that's my size, BUT! You know. People think I'm young cause of my size. And I can run around the playground and pretend I'm 12. And up till I think I was 18, when I went to makan with family, I still got charged as CHILD. See? I help save money.

#3 I live near Tg. Aru beach. Okay la not la I special cause of this but I got umm. Extra. Like... You know? Have you seen the sunsets there?! Homaigoodness. To die for. So pretty. It's been such a long time since I've seen one. Don't believe la tu how cantik it is. Nah, cuba you see!


#4 I THINK I can dance.  Well, for fun, not professionally. Although how I dream of being able to.......


 #5 I may be stubborn. But that just means I'm strong willed. Yeeaah. Give me some credit. I'm not stubborn ALL the live long day. Heh.

#6 I am daughter to parents whom may be so ARGHHH sometimes but they always have their reasons. And I'm the one daughter that cooks for the family. And the one daughter who took over making kuih Raya. And also pumpkin cake yang sedap. Which makes me extra extra extra special.

On the way back from Kudat Syawal 2011
#7 I found out that my birthday according to the Hijri calendar is on the 6th of Syawal. THEREFORE. My birthday is on the 6th day of raya, which is impossible for anyone to forget :D And, I am already 23. If use that calendar la. *secretly in denial*

#8 When I was younger, I entered a singing competition for Christmas organized by my computer class. (Yes, I went to computer classes. It was so much fun) And Abang Shaun yang jahat gila scared me made me cry right before I had to go up the stage. And well, you guessed it. I sang Que Sera Sera while nangis teresak-esak. "Que seraaa *sobsob* seraaaaa. Whatever will beeee *sobsob* will beeee". I remember practising it with Papa. Haha now that I think of it whyyy lah did I join. I got third place, by the way if you're wondering. Okay la so what la if it is hadiah kesian. The important thing is I did it anyway. :P

#9 Also, when I was younger, like my tadika Tunasari days, I was the rapper! Shit. Hahahaha. Rap as in betul betul rap okay? We were doing some turtle awareness thingy and we were like "SAVE THE TURTLE! SAVE THE TURTLE!" and I had my friends dancing (all of us dressed like turtles. Grey-ish shiny jumpsuits with a turtle shell on our backs. For real!). Then, my first line was "We are the children of Tunasari!" Oh God punya la trip haha! I guess when you grow older all your guts just hilang.

#10 I think I was an accidental baby. Hoho. But but buuutt. Mummy say, bila she pregnant with me, she say I am for "bikin main-main, kasi kawan" dia bilang. Nah. Memang betul pun. I am her lamb, everywhere she went I was sure to go. I'm loved. :]

#11 I managed to ditch bit by bit the habit of procrastinating! That is quite a feat! I used to think I function well under pressure, but perhaps I function even better with more time. 

#12 I am special because I have a Diploma before I go into my Degree, which gives me an edge kind of. You know. Like. Ya. It really does help. A lot.

#13 I was part of the 2004 SFC choir team who were National champs! Woohoo! The story was, I was only called on to join to be a backup/pelapis for pianist. Then. They tidak cukup orang? Haha. I know la I was like not first choice or anything, but still! It was a moment so proud. I love SFC. Like. My school spirit is so tinggi. Then after that win we got so many invites to perform sini sana. And plus free food. Ooooh. Hehe.

This was in The Star! There I am tuu di the paling left di depan. Oh wow.
#14 I made two really good speeches (at least that was what I was told) so far in my whole lifetime. One was during my secondary school graduation "pride and joy" and the other was during Abang Shaun and Kak Nurul's wedding dinner in 2008.

#15 I have/had two cats that I really loved and love me back (cheh kununnn) One, Bimbo. My blue-eyed silly beauty who would also minta my jagung. And two, Jojo Hamau Gaga The Cat. Who was and still is an excellent friend and teman and the nakalest and the silliest but has the cutest nose and pink cushion paws. Naaaw. 

Jojo & Bimbo :')
#16 I have gigi satu. You have? Don't have kan. Naah. Special la jadi dia. Let me show you definition of gigi satu. 

See the red arrow pointing to my gigi. That is my gigi satu. It makes me smile in two different ways depending what side my face is facing. But! I've learned to accept.
#17 I am Nanay (auntie) to these two boys! One monkey jumping on the bed and one yet to be known.... Izzarif a.k.a IZZY!! and Ryan Irfan a.k.a Baby Ryan! Okay I don't have Ryan's picture in my laptop. But you all know Izzy :D 

Can you feel his ke-jajal-an?

#18 When I turned 18, I spent my birthday with the Bons at Hyatt courtesy of Mummy dearest. I felt special cause my best friends went to all the trouble and made me a baju so pretty! Cuba you see...
See! The pretty butterfly!
#19 I am able to take criticism and am patient. Alamak perasannya. Hahaha! Betul la. Although I may be like ^*@(#D)*@^! in my heart, but I will accept what you say with open arms. Yes, I do realise things and though it takes A LOT for me to finally take action, but in the end I do it. I take that step to change what needs to be changed.

#20 I have the greatest friends anyone could ask for. Serious. We may not go on holidays together, or live nearby or meet all the time or so rich we buy gifts for each other. But I sure know that they mean so much to me! 

See me embracing my gigi satu. Eh. Heh. Love you all!
#21 I feel special because you make me feel special. And so the best penceria, tukang make silly lame jokes, selalu dowan to laugh at my jokes, pembully, tukang fix barang, teman makan, teman play monopoly (or any games for that fact) sampai gaduh, teman jalan-jalan, teman buat kerja bodoh, and segalanya yang happy in my life. ALLY my love! <3

The paling best day and best place with the best person. Mau go lagi. Rindunya.

#22 I am special cause just cause I am! God created me as one of a kind. He made me patient, a crybaby, silly, clumsy, pretty, hot. He gave me a good brain and a good heart. He gave me good health, great family, great friends. And I'm limited edition! No me, no more la sudah! Satu seja Hana Nazsulaeeqa Harun di dunia. :)

If you made it this far! Yay! Thanks heee heee! 

Kita semua special in our own silly little weird way. We just need to take a sec, pause and take it all in and say to ourselves "HOWAU! I'm so great." It's really okay you know to be perasan sekali sekala. We all do it, feel good doing it, so... why not, right?

Why are you special? :)

ps: I love you.

Monday, December 5, 2011

I'm On Your Back

If you'd accept surrender,
I'll give up some more 
Weren't you adored
I cannot be without you, matter of fact
I'm on your back, I'm on your back, I'm on your back